~*~
His friends feel much better after that evening, but for him it is getting tiring. He didn’t sleep much the following night, because of some really realistic dreams about him and Senga. He has some appointments in the city the next day and is happy when he is finally able to go home in the evening.

It is really cold and through the day it had snowed slightly. The windows of the shops he passes by are all illuminated. Christmas is close.

He passes a window he didn’t see before. It is apparently a dancing studio with some big mirrors on one side of the room. He never noticed it before, but now he stops and looks through the big window. He doesn't know why, until he sees a familiar face behind the window. Without thinking about it, he looks for the entrance and enters the studio.

He hears some voices, talking about tomorrows training and one of them is Senga’s, so he goes closer. As soon as he enters the room, Senga looks up at him and is startled.
“Hi…” Nikaido says smiling.
“Why are you doing this every time?”
“What do you mean?”
“Scaring me like this.”
“I’m sorry?” Nikaido smiles again.
Senga comes closer as his friend leaves the room. “How did you find me?”
“The police told me about you, your police record is really amazing…”
“Stop that!” Senga whispers angrily.
“You told us all about the studio and somehow I just passed by.”
Senga walks over to the mirror and picks up a towel from the floor. “Why are you here?”
“I want to learn how to dance!” Nikaido says grinning.
“There are a lot more dancing studios out there…”
“Yeah, but they told me the trainer here is pretty hot.”
“Why are you here?” Senga asks again.
“I want to learn…”
“Stop it, please. I didn’t really sleep well last night..” he begs.
“Me neither.” Nikaido admits. “I was thinking the whole night.”
“Must be difficult when you’re not used to it!” Senga scoffs.
Nikaido ignores that and sighs.”Why didn’t you tell me that you want to tell Fujigaya about the kiss?”
Senga looks at him with surprise in his eyes. “I did! I told you on Saturday that I will tell him about the kiss!” He notices some other people coming into the room and takes Nikaido by his arm to get him into another, much smaller practice room.

Some mats and chairs are on the floor and they sit down next to each other. “I told you I will tell him about the kiss.” Senga says much more gently.
“You could have warned me, Yokoo called me yesterday and I wasn't prepared at all.”
“You didn’t tell him about us?” Senga asks anxiously.
“Sure, I told him everything and got Kitayama to act it out in front of him. He was really taken by my acting.” Senga looks at him, offended, and folds his arms over his chest.
“I thought you would warn me...” Nikaido admits.
“I had other stuff on my mind yesterday.”
“Sure...” They go silent again. Nikaido isn’t able to stop looking at Senga. He wants to kiss him again, feel his skin under his hands, just be close to him again.

“I should go home..” Senga says finally.
“Why?”
“Taisuke…” He sighs. “Taisuke is waiting for me, we need to talk.”
Nikaido lays back onto the mats. “Are you happy that he forgave you?”
Senga doesn’t answer instantly. “Yes, I am.” He says with a quiet voice.
“Are you happy with him?”
“He is really nice and caring. He is smart, fun-loving and humorous. We will have a good future together.”
“Wow, that’s the most romantic stuff I ever heard.” Nikaido scoffs.
“What do you want to hear?” Senga asks.
Nikaido gets up again and moves closer to Senga. “Love! I want to hear that you love him.” Startled Senga looks up to him, his lips shaking.
“Say it,” Nikaido demands. “Say that you love him.”
Senga looks away from him and onto his own hands. “I…. I love him.”
“Okay...” Nikaido whispers and gets up. “Bye.”
“Bye…” Senga answers while Nikaido leaves the studio without looking back.
~*~
It is Christmas. You spend the evening with your loved one, or your family, but for Nikaido neither is an option this year. His family is visiting some relatives and he really didn’t want to join them, and there is nobody else in his life. Sometimes he still thinks about Senga, but it seems like he is happy with Fujigaya now. Yokoo had invited him over, but he didn’t want to disturb him with his family. So he would spend the evening alone. Right now he is shopping for some food even though it's already late, but at least there isn't much people around. With a bag full of bento and sweets he leaves the store and nearly runs into a guy who seems to be in a rush.
“Watch out!"
“Sorry!” The guy says and looks up to him. “Oh… Hi…”
Nikaido sighs and curses his luck again. “What are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same…” Senga says and helps him to pick up the stuff that fell to the ground. “Bento? Are you alone tonight?”
“No my mom just doesn't like to cook and I thought we could share this bento and the sweets..”
“Couldn’t you just answer a question for once?”
“My parents are visiting some relatives and I didn’t want to go so yes, I am alone. But I could ask you the same, what are you doing here?”
“My family is back in Nagoya and I don’t have time to visit them this year.”
Nikaido averts his eyes. “What about Fujigaya?”
“He’s with his family tonight, I thought it’s a bit too early to meet them.”
“So you’re alone too?” Nikaido asks, feels a spark of hope in his heart.
Senga nods and looks to the shop. “I’ll buy something to eat and then let’s go.” Before Nikaido can ask what he is planning to do, he is gone. After about ten minutes he is back, smiling at him. “So let’s go, show me where you live.”
“You want to go to my place?”
“Yes, let’s go.” Senga smiles at him. “You wanted us to be friends, we should try our best.”
“Sure...” Nikaido says surprised and starts walking. His apartment isn’t that far away from the store, but on the short way his heart beats extremely fast and all he can do is watch the ground and his own feet.
“If you don’t want to, don’t feel forced.” Senga says after a while. “I just thought we could spend some time together.”
“No I want to, I really want to!” Nikaido says fast and together they enter his apartment. After they got rid of their jackets and shoes Senga sits down on the floor near the small table.
“It’s pretty nice here…” Senga smiles and takes out his bento from the bag.
“Thank you, it’s not that big, but enough for myself.” Nikaido brings some drinks and joins him on the floor. His heart is still beating fast and he is very nervous but tries to stay calm.
“No I really like it, it’s just like you.” Senga takes a sip from his tea and smiles again.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s like you, it has his own charm and tells me a lot about you.”
“What does it tell you?”
“You’re not a clean freak, because there is a lot of stuff laying around.” Senga laughs and Nikaido blushes.
“You really love your family, because there are many pictures of them. At least I think they’re your family.”
“Yes they are.” Nikaido smiles. “But sometimes they are really bothering me.”
“I think that’s normal, but you love them. And even though you don't look like it, you take your studies pretty seriously.” Senga looks over to the books at the end of the room.
Nikaido blushes again. “So you know a lot about me now.”
“Yeah, I do.” Senga says and they stay silent then while both of them enjoy their meals.

Even after they finished they don’t start talking again, both of them enjoying the silence for a while until Nikaido can’t take it anymore.
“Do you think we can be friends?” he asks quietly.
Senga doesn’t answer right away, different emotions visible on his face. “I hope so... but I don’t really know anything about you. Tell me a secret.”
Nikaido smiles at that. “I don’t have any secrets.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“Okay. Actually... I’m really scared quite often. I was scared when I got up this morning, I was scared when I was all alone the whole day, and I was scared when I went shopping too…but then you were there, you rescued me and now I’m not scared anymore.” Nikaido’s chest feels heavy after saying that. Senga doesn’t say anything, he's just looking at Nikaido and his breathing is going a little faster.
“Are we friends now?” Nikaido asks him.

Senga laughs and his eyes are sparkling. “You say such things again…” Nikaido doesn’t know what exactly he means, but before he could ask Senga jumps up from the floor and hurries to the window. “Snow! Look! It’s snowing!”

Nikaido joins him and looks down at the street. It seems to have been snowing for a while, because the streets and trees are already white. He looks over to Senga and sees that he’s fascinated by the snow.
“Come with me!” he says finally and takes Senga’s hand.
“Where do you want to go?” he asks him while getting dressed again, but instead of leaving the building they climb upstairs.
“You told me something, and I thought you would like this.” Nikaido opens the door to the rooftop and Senga realizes what he is talking about. The whole rooftop is white, untouched, nobody else has been there before them.
“You remembered?”
Nikaido smiles and helps him onto the rooftop. “Of course. I wouldn’t forget anything you said.”

Senga looks at him with a smile, then steps forward. He walks a few steps and looks behind himself to his footprints. It seems like he wants to say something, but all he does is walking some more steps before he comes back to Nikaido.
“Why are you like this...” he whispers and before Nikaido can say anything else Senga wraps his arms around his neck and kisses him passionately.

Nikaido doesn’t know how they make it back to his apartment because he doesn’t stop kissing Senga, he only realizes that they’re back when he hits his knee on the table.
“Sorry,” Senga says and looks down. “Did you hurt yourself?”
Nikaido smiles and pulls him back into his arms. “Yes…” he answers and kisses him again. They are kissing for what seems like forever before Nikaido dares to touch Senga’s lips with his tongue. He opens his mouth a bit and the kiss gets deeper quite fast.

After a while they lie down on the floor without breaking the kiss, Senga on his back and Nikaido on top of him. They only break apart when both of them need some air and take deep breaths. Nikaido stares down and smiles happily. Senga is so pretty, he can’t believe that this is really happening. Senga’s hands cramp into Nikaido’s shirt and he’s shaking.
“You’re so sweet..” Nikaido whispers to him and kisses his nose. Senga wants to object but Nikaido kisses him again before he can say a word. His hands are wandering over Senga’s body, his chest, his shoulders and down to his hips. He can’t get enough from just feeling him.

His heart nearly bursts in his chest and his body just wants more. He kisses Senga’s chin, his neck and over to his ears. Hears him moan quietly and feels his arousal through his pants.
“Bedroom…” Senga whispers and Nikaido has problems to understand it at first because he’s busy kissing his neck.
“Hmm?”
“Bedroom..” Senga says again and Nikaido helps him get up and go over to the small separated room where his bed is. Senga is looking through the room with curious eyes and Nikaido smiles at him.
“Everything okay?” he asks him softly.
“Yes..” Senga answers, gets in front of Nikaido and kisses him again before he falls backwards onto the bed. Together they get rid of their shirts, kissing each exposed body part. Senga ends up on top of Nikaido and starts kissing his neck, wandering downwards just to lick on his nipple.

A loud moan escapes Nikaido’s lips and his whole body trembles. Senga blushes a bit but continues on his way down. Nikaido feels his dick pressing against the thigh jeans and gets really impatient, but he tries to calm himself down, he doesn’t want to end this too soon.

Senga’s touches are tender and intense, making him even more impatient and horny. He lays down between Nikaido’s legs and his body presses against his dick, drives him crazy. Smiling Senga starts touching him through his jeans, rubbing his cock.

Nikaido can barely stay still but before he loses his self-control he pulls him back up and kisses him, then gets on top of Senga again. Smiling he opens his jeans and gets a hand inside his boxers, massaging his dick. Senga’s closes his eyes and his breath is getting faster.

They get rid of the rest of their clothes and finally both of them are naked. Nikaido leans his forehead against Senga’s while laying on top of him. “What are you thinking?”
“Nothing,“ he answers quietly. “I can’t think of anything and I shouldn’t think about anything right now.”

Nikaido realizes that it's a dangerous question so instead of answering he kisses him again. He touches Senga’s whole body again, strokes him everywhere and kisses his way down until he reaches his cock. He kisses it too, then takes him into his mouth. It’s not the first time he’s giving head but it feels different. He sucks and licks and strokes with his hand between his legs until he touches his rim. He softly massages him until he interrupts himself to get the lube out of his nightstand.

He goes back to him, kisses Senga’s lips softly before he begins to prepare him. Senga’s eyes are closed and his breath is speeding up, soft moans are leaving his mouth every now and then. Nikaido starts licking his dick again while he enters him with a second finger. He takes his time, tries to be calm even though he can’t wait to be inside him.

“Okay?” he asks Senga after a while and the younger one opens his eyes again.
“Yeah…”

Nikaido takes the condom from his nightstand and opens it, but before he can put it on, Senga takes it into his hand and helps him, massaging him again while putting it on. Then he presses against Nikaido’s shoulder to make him lay down onto the bed.

Senga straddles his hips and Nikaido helps him position his cock, before he sinks down onto him. Both of them moan loudly and Nikaido can’t keep his eyes open even though he wants to watch Senga so badly.

“Kenpi...” he whispers to him and holds him by his hips.
Senga stays still for a moment then throws back his head. Nikaido can’t stop thinking that he’s absolutely gorgeous like this. Then Senga starts moving and opens his eyes again. They look into each other’s eyes as Senga starts riding him for real, his mouth is open and his eyes are sparkling full of lust.

Nikaido can’t stop himself from pulling him down, to kiss him passionately while fucking him from below. They find a mutual rhythm and Senga throws back his head again, moaning loudly. They’re moving faster and Nikaido feels that it won’t take much longer for him to come.

He takes Senga’s dick into his hand and starts pumping it fast, while still fucking him. He feels Senga tighten around him, hears him moan his name before he sees him coming onto his stomach. It takes just a few more trusts that Nikaido comes too, breathing heavily and moaning Senga’s first name.

The world explodes in Nikaido’s head and for a moment, everything is white. His heart is racing and he feels like he died a little, in an entirely positive way.
The next thing he realizes a few moments later, is Senga laying on his chest. He’s still breathing very fast and his heart pounds against Nikaido’s chest.
Carefully he strokes Senga’s hair and kisses his forehead. “I need to tell you something…”
“Don’t…” Senga whispers slurred against his neck.
“What?” Nikaido asks confused.
“Don’t say it…” Senga sounds weird.
“Kenpi. I…” Nikaido hold him in his arms. “I love you.”
“I told you, don’t say that!” Senga hides his face.
“I don’t care.” Nikaido say honestly. “I love you.”
“No.”
“I love you Kenpi. I love you so much.”
“Stop it!” Senga says and Nikaido realizes that he’s crying. He gets up and takes a tissue from the nightstand. Silently they start cleaning themselves and Nikaido feels the fear growing stronger that Senga will leave him right now. But the younger one starts talking again. “Please let’s not talk about this right now.”
“Okay…” Nikaido answers quietly.
“I’m cold,” Senga says and looks over to him. Nikaido forces himself to smile then raises the blanket and Senga doesn’t wait to climb into the bed next to him. They’re cuddling for a while until Senga speaks again. “Do you want to sleep?”
“No, I’m afraid that when I wake up everything is just a dream.” Nikaido answers.
“It isn’t a dream.” Senga calms him softly.
“It is way too good to be a dream.” Nikaido smiles and starts kissing Senga’s face again, who looks at him and smiles tiredly, then starts to stroke Nikaido’s hair.
~*~
When Nikaido wakes up the next morning, he’s alone in his apartment. He’s smiling though, because his bed still smells like Senga. After taking a shower and something to eat, he decides to call Senga and talk about what happened. It takes a while until Senga answers the phone.
“Hey...” he says quietly.
“Hi, where are you? Why did you leave?”
“I’m home and… you know why I left.”
“We should talk about what we do now.”
“Nika… I can’t talk about this right now.”
“About what?” Nikaido asks curious.
“About us. We just… should sit down another day and talk about everything.”
“Sit down and talk about it? That sounds like a work meeting. Do I have to make a list? Pros and cons?”
“Don’t be so sarcastic! You just have to accept that I need to think about everything.”
“What do you need to think about? I love you and you love me, so break up with Gaya!”
He hears that Senga is shocked and it takes a while until he talks again. “That’s not that easy. Please give me some time.”
Nikaido sighs. “Okay…” he answers. “I’ll wait for you.”
~*~
The next day’s Nikaido is really busy and he doesn’t realize it’s close to New Year until Kitayama calls him. The last few years everybody met up in a house close to the sea to celebrate the New Year ’s Eve together and Kitayama calls to remind him that they are driving to the sea this evening. Even though he tries to decline, Kitayama won’t let him stay home and says he would force him into his car if necessary.

He didn’t hear anything from Senga the last days, so he decides to visit him in the studio. They have to talk about everything now, because tonight they will meet and Fujigaya will be there too.

Nikaido doesn’t know if he will be at the studio, but as soon as he enters the studio he sees him in front of the mirrors. It’s the first time he sees him dancing and it fascinates him so much that he doesn’t react when another guy talks to him.

That’s the moment Senga looks over to him and stops in his movement. Nikaido tells the other guy he’s here for Senga and he goes over to him. Still it takes a while until Senga comes closer. They look into each other’s eyes and Senga takes his hand to pull him into the smaller practice room again.
“How are you?” Nikaido asks him as soon as the door is closed.
“I’m fine.” Senga answers and sits down. Nikaido notices that he looks pale and tired.
“Really?”
“Yes…. Why are you here?” Senga’s voice sounds tired too.
“You said we need to talk about us.”
“Today? I’m quite busy right now.”
“Kenpi… we’re going to the sea tonight. How do you think that’s working? Fujigaya, you and me in a small house together?”
Senga sighs. “I tried to tell Taisuke that I’ll stay home. But he said he’s going to force me.”
Nikaido realizes something else. “So you will stay with him? You won’t break up with him?” He feels his heart breaking in his chest and grabs his shirt, right over his heart, to calm himself down.
Senga’s hand is shaking and he doesn’t look at him anymore.
“Say it! Will you break up with him?”
“Nika… please….” Senga looks up but his eyes are teary.
“Tell me. Now.” Nikaido gets angry and steps closer to him.
“Yes, I’m staying with Taisuke.” The words leave Senga’s mouth and Nikaido feels like they hit him like bullets.
He nods and turns around, ready to leave. “I accept your decision but remember… I really love you, Kenpi...” he says and leaves him alone.
~*~
Nikaido tries to calm down before Kitayama comes to get him in the evening, but his best friend notices that something is wrong the moment he gets into the car.
“Are you okay?” he asks him and Nikaido just nods, doesn’t answer. “We meet with the others before we go to the house,” he informs him and starts driving.

When they arrive at Yokoo’s place the others are already waiting for them. He sees Miyata and Tamamori chatting with each other, Yokoo and Fujigaya checking the car and right next to them with a sad expression on his face is Senga. He’s not smiling and it looks like he wants to be anywhere else but there.

It hurts Nikaido’s heart to see him like that, he just wants to get to him, hug him until he feels better, but he remembers that Senga doesn’t want him. He wants to be with Fujigaya, maybe even loves him. Kitayama stops the car and they join the others. “What’s up with your junk car?” Kitayama asks laughing when he comes over to Yokoo.

“Everything okay, we just checked the oil,” Yokoo answers and smiles. “You’re late!”
“We’re never late! The best people always join the party later,” Nikaido says and looks over to Senga who tries to avert his eyes. “Hi…” he still whispers to him, but gets no answer.
“Okay, now that finally everybody is here, we can decide who's in which car,” Yokoo says and takes a hat out of his car. “Mitsu and I are driving so we don’t need to draw lots.” Then he goes over to Nikaido. “Come on, pick one.”
“What is this? It’s childish!” Nikaido complains and crosses his arms.
“No its not, because if we don’t do it like this, we will never separate our couples and this trip isn’t just about them. It’s to get to know your friends better.”

Nikaido realizes that he has no chance and so he picks one of the small slips of paper. The others do the same and finally Yokoo says they can take a look.
“I’m with Mitsu,” he says and shows his slip to the others.
Senga grows stiff. “Me too…” he says then.

Nikaido feels sick. He would have to spend two hours in a small car together with Senga. So close but so far away.

Fujigaya is the next to open his slip and sighs. “I’m with Watta...” He takes Senga’s hand and pulls him closer.
“Will you be okay?” he asks him and kisses him lightly.
“Yeah...” Senga answers and blushes then looks over at Nikaido who is suddenly very busy searching for something in the car.

Tamamori and Miyata seem to be the lucky pair because both of them draw papers with Yokoo’s name on it and so they would stay together.
“Please don’t spend the whole ride kissing,” Yokoo warns them and finally they enter the cars.

Nikaido sits in the passenger seat while Senga gets into the backseat.
Kitayama smiles happily. “Now we have time to ask Senga about all the dirty stuff he does with Fujigaya.” Senga blushes again while Nikaido decides to look out of the window. “Come on guys, this trip is supposed to be fun!” Kitayama still tries to motivate them, but he gets no response.

They stay silent for the first thirty minutes, only Kitayama is talking and singing along with the music. Nikaido can’t stop thinking about how he wants to sit next to Senga, hold his hand, talk to him or whisper things into his ear, kiss him softly. His thoughts get interrupted by Kitayama.
“How was your Christmas Nika? Did you visit your parents?”
Nikaido looks over to him and smiles. “It was boring, like every other year, nothing special happened.” He knows that Senga is listening and hopes to hurt him just a bit with his words.
“What about you, Senga?” Kitayama asks and looks into the driving mirror to see his face.
“Hm?” It seems like he was deep in thoughts.
“Christmas? How did you spend it?”
“Oh I was… alone.” He answers insecurely and smiles weakly.
“Didn’t you spend it with Gaya?”
“No he was with his parents, but we stayed together the following days.” Ow, that's painful to hear. Nikaido tries to take deep breaths but it still hurts.

Nikaido opts out after this and he seems to have fallen asleep because when he wakes up again he can already see the sea.
“We’re nearly there, but I can’t see Yokoo anymore. I hope he’s already there because he has the keys.”

They stop the car right next to the house and find that the others are not here yet. Nikaido still leaves the car, he wants to get away from Senga. He decides to go down to the sea, which is just a few steps away from the house. They spent the last two years in this house so he knows where he has to go, finds his way to the beach without any trouble. Its dark and cold, the wind is icy but it makes him feel better.

It doesn’t take long until he hears steps behind him.
“Nika! Put on your jacket! You will get sick!” Senga’s voice can be heard. “It’s really cold.” Nikaido doesn’t respond, just continues to watch the waves.
“Come on! Put on your jacket, please?” That’s enough to make him angry.
“You’re not my boyfriend, you shouldn’t bother with me. Go back to the car, I assume Gaya is waiting for you.”

He sees in Senga’s eyes that he hurt him, the younger one turns around and goes back to the car, leaving him alone. Nikaido should feel better know, but his heart is crying and so he looks up at the sky and shouts as loud as he can.

When he goes back to them Yokoo’s car arrives and they finally enter the house. It is the same house, but Nikaido still feels different. As soon as they get inside Yokoo starts preparing a fire in the fireplace. The big living room is right next to an open kitchen where Miyata and Tamamori start to put away the food they brought.

On the second floor there are three bedrooms with 2 beds each. That means one of them has to sleep on the futon or the couch in the living room. Stupid Senga destroys everything, Nikaido thinks to himself

Of course Miyata and Tamamori wants to stay together so they take the first bedroom. Fujigaya goes over to Senga and hugs him tightly while kissing his cheek.
“We'll take the other one!” he claims and smiles at his boyfriend. Yokoo seems to be less happy about this, but doesn’t say a word.
Kitayama sighs. “Okay, so now that the couples are done... Let's just play rock-paper-scissors for the last room?“ Yokoo joins them too and wins the first bed, after that the luck is on Kitayama’s side and he takes the second one. “Awww, poor Nika!” he laughs at him.

Nikaido’s mood is even worse now, but he accepts his fate. It’s already late so everyone just eats something small before going to bed. It gets silent in the house soon. Nikaido prepares his futon on the floor of the biggest bedroom while Yokoo and Kitayama put clean sheets on their beds.

The queue to the bathroom is long, but finally everybody is ready for bed. Nikaido lies down too, but doesn’t feel sleepy at all. He is listening to every sound in the room, hears Yokoo’s and Kitayama’s breaths. He closes his eyes, but all he sees is Senga’s face. Right now Senga is resting in Fujigaya’s arms. Maybe they are asleep already, maybe not. His brain starts imagining things. Senga getting kissed by Fujigaya, then having sex with him.

His stomach feels like one big knot, his heart is beating fast in his chest and he starts sweating. The images won’t stop, he sees Senga below Fujigaya, then on all fours in front of him, moaning, panting. He feels restless and just wants to leave the room, so he gets rid of his blanket and leaves.

In the dark hallway he looks around. Fujigaya’s and Senga’s room is the first one on the floor and he sneaks closer. He stops in front of it and starts listening. He brings his head closer to the wooden door and leans his hands against it. If someone found him there, they would call him crazy, or insane.

He’s trying to calm his own breath and leans his head against the door too, starts listening again. He hears nothing and relief washes over him. Instead he hears footsteps behind him and looks back in shock.
“Did you hear anything?” Yokoo asks quietly and there is something in his eyes. He understands him.
“No…” Nikaido answers. They look at each other, both of them freezing because it’s still cold in the house. Without saying another word they go back to their bedroom and both of them are finally able to fall asleep.
~*~
When Nikaido wakes up again it’s just after 7 AM. The other boys in the room are still sleeping, but he doesn’t feel tired anymore. He gets up and puts on a jersey before leaving the room. After a short stop in the bathroom he goes downstairs and is surprised to see that somebody is busy in the kitchen. The table is set and it smells like coffee.
“Good morning!” he says when he enters the kitchen and a shocked Senga drops the knife in his hand.
“Morning…” he answers and picks the knife up again. “Coffee?”
“Thanks,” Nikaido says and takes a cup out of the cupboard. After filling it with coffee he leans back against the kitchen counter. “Why are you awake already?”
Senga doesn’t look at him, just continues preparing breakfast. “I don't sleep well in foreign places.” Nikaido hums, understanding, and looks back to the table.
“And now you want to catch everyone’s heart with breakfast?”
“I just want to do something nice.” Senga says angrily.
“You don’t have to be angry immediately. I’m not judging you.”
“Would be the first time that you’re not judging me. Please, can we just not talk about that now? Tonight is New Years Eve and tomorrow everything will be over.”
“Over?” Nikaido scoffs. “At least for one of us.” Then he leaves Senga alone and sits down in front of the fireplace.

One after another the others joins them and everybody is happy about the breakfast.
“Hurry up, my eggs are getting cold!” Nikaido grumbles and makes Yokoo and Kitayama laugh.
“Mornin…” Fujigaya finally sits down.
“Did you sleep well?” Yokoo asks him and sits down next to him.
“Yeah, but Kento had problems falling asleep.” Said person blushes and sits down on Fujigaya’s other side. Miyata and Tamamori are the last ones joining them.
Nikaido smiles suddenly. “Our new friend made this wonderful breakfast for us to start into this day full of fun. We should say thank you, right?”

Senga looks over to him angrily before Fujigaya kisses his cheek.
“Thanks baby,” he says and everybody else joins in thanking him. Then they start to eat. Surprisingly it’s not bad at all, the eggs are delicious and the coffee is hot and strong. The room is silent for a while before Yokoo starts talking again.
“We still need to prepare some things for tonight. Taisuke, can you help me with the drinks? I want to drive into the city and buy some alcohol too.” Fujigaya nods and takes Senga’s hand.
“We can take Kento with us, he can help us.” Nikaido seems to be the only one who notices the wrinkles on Yokoo’s forehead.
“Sure, he can help us.”
Tamamori takes a sip from his coffee and looks over to the kitchen. “Miyacchi and I are going to clean the kitchen and prepare something to eat for tonight. Miyacchi is really good at it.”
Miyata smiles and takes Tamamori’s hand. “I’ll do my best for you, Yuta,” he says.
“Don’t be gross in front of them!” Tamamori scoffs and pulls his hand away.
“Okay, then Nika and I are doing the decorations!” Kitayama claims and hugs Nikaido from behind. “We’re the best decorating team!” Nikaido tries to look happy, although all he feels inside is sadness.

The day is busy for everyone. After breakfast Yokoo goes to the city together with Fujigaya and Senga. Tamamori and Miyata disappear into the kitchen and Kitayama stays with Nikaido in the living room. “Nika… I’m asking you something right now, and please be honest to me… what’s wrong with you lately?”
Nikaido looks up to him. “What do you mean?”
“You’re not yourself at the moment, you’re sad and everybody notices it but nobody dares to ask you why. I’m your best friend and you’re not even talking to me.” Kitayama sounds honestly worried. “I know you pretty well and I've realized one thing. It all started when Senga joined us.”

Nikaido swallows and looks to the ground. Kitayama knows him and would see the answer in his eyes immediately.
“So I am right…” he says when Nikaido doesn’t answer. He sits down next to him, hugs him tightly and Nikaido leans against him. They are still sitting like that, when the door opens and Yokoo, Fujigaya and Senga enter the house.
“If I wouldn’t know it better, I would think you two are dating.” Yokoo says and Nikaido looks up just to meet Senga’s eyes. They’re looking at each other for so long that Fujigaya starts making fun of them and pulls Senga with him into the kitchen. Kitayama forces Nikaido to look at him after that.
“What did you do?” he asks silently but Nikaido just shakes his head.

The rest of the day is over in the blink of an eye. Tamamori and Miyata have a big fight in the afternoon because of Miyata making some kind of mistake while cooking. Yokoo has to take over as Tamamori storms out of the kitchen and into their bedroom, while Miyata tries to calm him down. Kitayama and Nikaido decorate the living room and even prepare some paper hats for everybody while Fujigaya and Senga prepare the drinks for tonight.

At 7 PM they are finally able to have dinner, thanks to Yokoo. Tamamori and Miyata made up again and are sitting happily next to each other. It's just pure luck that everybody else was busy and didn’t have to go up to the second floor the last few hours.

The food is delicious and they talk about all sorts of topics. Nikaido feels Kitayama’s eyes on him every now and then but decides to ignore it. They have wine to the food, and the mood keeps getting better and better.

After dinner there are games, even though most of them are slightly drunk already they have much fun and midnight is getting closer fast. During the games Nikaido notices that Senga isn’t sitting as close as before next to Fujigaya. He even tries to avert his touches and it makes him curious.

About half an hour before midnight they all go outside, thick jackets on and paper hats in place on top of their heads. Yokoo is giving them a glass with champagne each.
“Okay, let’s have a toast,” he says when he’s done. “I just want to say thank you, I love you guys and I hope we will be friends forever.” Everybody smiles and seems to approve. Nikaido looks over to Senga who tries to ignore him. Then its Kitayama’s turn.
“I hope we will have just as much fun next year as we had this year together. I love you guys!”
Miyata is the next one. “I hope we will all be healthy next year!” he says, grinning stupidly, then Tamamori hits him lightly.
“Let's stay healthy! And hope that this guy here gets a new job soon! Money is important too!” Miyata blushes and apologizes.
Now its Fujigaya’s turn and he pulls Senga closer to him before he talks. “I hope for a lot of love in the new year too. I hope to be here next year too, together with the person I love!” he looks over to Senga and smiles.
Nikaido can’t stay quiet anymore. “That’s so cute! And where is Senga next year, when you are here celebrating with the person you love? Back in Nagoya with his family?” he jokes and everybody laughs, everybody except Senga and Kitayama. “But you’re right Gaya, let’s pray for a lot of love and that love wins in the end!” Senga tenses and bites his lips.
“Look at the stars!” Nikaido says suddenly. “They are so pretty! They are so small and big and shine so beautifully!” Yokoo comes over to him.
“You’re drunk!” Nikaido laughs. “I’m not!”

The new year is just seconds away when they start counting together.
“10…9…8…7…” Nikaido looks over to Senga and they are looking at each other again. “…6…5….4…” Nikaido just wants to be with him. Wants to hold him close and be happy like never before. “…3…2…1! Happy New Year!!”

Tamamori and Miyacchi kiss each other while Kitayama starts hugging Yokoo tightly, but all Nikaido sees is Fujigaya kissing Senga long and passionately. He is unable to look away, his heart hurts so much, and he’s jealous and angry at once. It’s unfair and he just wants to pull Fujigaya away from him..
“Nika!” Kitayama’s voice is heard and then he’s pulled into a close hug. “Happy New Year!” Together they drink some more alcohol while watching the fireworks. When Nikaido looks around him he notices that Senga is gone. Everybody else is still watching the fireworks and nobody seems to notice that he goes into the house.

It’s silent in there but he knows that Senga is somewhere inside. He puts his glass down and takes the jacket off before he goes upstairs. He just has one thought in his mind, he wants to be with him. When he comes to Fujigaya and Senga’s bedroom he notices that he’s sitting on the bed in the darkness. Through the window they can see some fireworks, but apart from that it's silent.
“Kenpi..” he whispers and takes a step closer. Senga winces and turns around.
“What are you doing here?” he asks quietly. He turns back to the window but Nikaido has time to notice the tears running down his face.
“I was looking for you,” he answers and takes another step. “How are you?”
Senga scoffs. “I’m fine, never felt better before.”
“Kenpi...” Nikaido whispers.
“Don’t call me that! I can’t take it anymore.” Senga says angrily. “I was never like this before. I was faithful and never betrayed anybody. Why did it end up this way?” He hears the tears in his voice and sees them running over his face.

Nikaido only needs to take two steps to be right next to him and pull him into his arms. He holds him close, buries his face in the soft curls and feels how Senga relaxes.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t give up,” Nikaido says. “I love you so much.” Senga tries to get away from him but Nikaido doesn’t let him go. “I want to be with you, love you, sleep with you, live with you.” Senga tries again to get away from him, but he’s not using much strength. “I want to kiss you,” Nikaido says and finally does it. He’s kissing him softly while holding him tight, he tastes the salty tears on his lips and deepens the kiss. They both forget where they are until a shocked voice interrupts them.

“Kento!?”
~*~
The rest of the night is a blurred mess of shouts and angry voices. Nikaido doesn’t realize what is going on until he gets punched in the face and a very angry Fujigaya is leaning over him. It takes both Yokoo and Kitayama to get Fujigaya away from him and he tastes blood when he opens his mouth. He feels dizzy and needs both Tamamori and Miyata to help him get up.

Yokoo and Kitayama bring Fujigaya outside trying to calm him down, while Senga is waiting in the hallway. He’s shocked too and his eyes are on the blood in Nikaido’s face. After a while Kitayama comes to get Senga and the shouting starts again. Nikaido doesn’t understand the exact words, but it’s so loud that he assumes Senga has told Fujigaya everything.

Tamamori helps him clean his face and then examines his nose. Gladly nothing is broken but Nikaido still doesn’t feel well. He lies down on the bed and falls asleep soon.

When he wakes up again it’s still dark outside, but the house is silent. He tries to open his eyes but it seems one of Fujigaya’s punches hit him so that he can’t open his right eye fully. He starts looking around and sees a person sitting next to this bed.
“Kenpi?” he asks slurred because his mouth is so dry.
The younger reacts instantly and comes over. “How do you feel?” he asks and reaches for the glass of water on the bedside table. “Never felt better before.” Nikaido answers and raises a bit to drink. “What happened? The last thing I remember is Gaya punching me.”
Senga winces. “I’m sorry that he hit you.” He whispers and gets up again. “He saw us and then I told him everything.” Nikaido sits up now but feels dizzy again.
“Everything?”
“He asked me how long this was going already and I didn’t want to lie to him anymore. I told him about the kiss and the Christmas eve.” Senga’s voice is teary again.
“What did he do?” Nikaido takes another sip of water.
“He called me things, and broke up with me. Then he left the house together with Yokoo, I think they went back home, Taisuke took all his stuff too.”
Nikaido sighs. “What do you want to do now?”
“I need to talk to him again when he calmed down a bit. I don’t want to let it end like this.” Senga says and sits down in the chair next to the bed.
“And what about us?”
“Nika… I can’t think about this right now. I need to talk with Taisuke and figure out what’s best.” Senga answers and smiles slightly. “Give me some time.”
Nikaido nods and decides that he should try to get some more sleep.
~*~
A few days later Nikaido feels better already. His face still looks a bit like a boxer's but the dizziness is gone. When he had woken up the morning after Fujigaya left, the others had already been waiting for him, ready to drive home. The atmosphere was gloomy and nobody was talking much. Senga, Tamamori and Miyata shared the backseat, while Nikaido slept on the passenger seat.

Nobody tried to lecture him about the things he did, everybody was worried about Fujigaya. Yokoo had called them this morning to tell them that they were together and Fujigaya would stay at his place for the time being, so Senga could go to their apartment. They say goodbye to each other when they arrive at their house, but Nikaido decided that he won’t let him disappear again.

So the following days he starts to show up at Senga’s dancing studio. The first time Senga wasn’t happy at all, but after that it changed. Today is the third day and he's already waiting in front of the studio. Deep in thoughts he doesn’t realize that Senga is looking at him.
“Are you waiting for someone special?” he asks him.
Nikaido stiffens then looks over to him. “Yeah, there’s a really cute guy working here and I wanted to go on a date with him today.”
“Lucky guy, but I think I have to disappoint you, I’m the last one leaving the studio. I guess he ditched you.” Senga smiles at him.
“Then I guess I have to ask you instead.” Nikaido takes his hand, but before Senga can answer his phone starts ringing. He takes it out of his pocket and stiffens. Nikaido know what his reaction means and let him go. Senga answers his phone with an earnest voice but the conversation is short, then he looks apologetically to Nikaido.
“It was Taisuke, he wants to talk. He’s waiting in the apartment.”
Nikaido nods. “Do you want me to come with you?” he asks, but Senga shakes his head.
“I need to talk to him by myself first.” Then he comes closer to Nikaido. “Let’s have our date some other day.”
“Will you call me afterwards?” Nikaido asks and Senga promises to call him.
~*~
But Senga doesn’t call him. It’s already past midnight, and in Nikaido’s head the worst imagines keep spinning. What if they aren't breaking up? When Senga still wants to be with Fujigaya? After thirty more minutes he’s close to a breakdown and decides to call Senga. He doesn’t pick up at first but Nikaido doesn’t give up and finally he hears Senga’s sad voice. “Sorry,” he says. “I know you waited for me to call.”
“Are you okay?” Nikaido asks curiously.
“I’m fine, at least we could talk about everything now. He’s still very sad and angry and I don’t know if he will ever forgive me…. Us… but we spoke about everything. He’s with Yokoo again, and I think he will take good care of him for us.”
Nikaido smiles and thinks back to Yokoo’s face when he was listening in front of the door. “I bet he will. Yokoo likes him so much. Maybe Gaya will finally realize it too. Kenpi, I want to meet you.”
“Now? But it’s nearly 1 AM.” Senga laughs quietly but Nikaido is adamant.
“Please, I want to show you something.”

Thirty minutes later they meet up in front of a huge building. Senga is confused about the location but Nikaido just takes his hand and goes to the elevator. When they arrive at the rooftop, they go to the railing where both of them stop.
“Look…” Nikaido takes Senga’s hand and looks up to the stars. They are shining brightly, even though they are in the middle of the city. “Kenpi, I know you need time and I don’t want to rush you but I want you to know that I really love you. Please be mine someday. I'll wait for you.”
Senga looks at him with teary eyes and then nods. “You waited so long already, but I need some more time. We hurt Taisuke so much.” Nikaido smiles sadly and then kisses his cheek.
“Sometimes you have to wait for the best things in life.”
The younger laughs and looks up to the stars. “It was inevitable, wasn’t it?”
“What?” Nikaido asks back and hugs him from behind.
“Us.” Senga answers. “I love you too, Nika,” he says finally.

And even though it might take a while until they can be together, Nikaido promises he will wait for him. He turns Senga around and smiles at him happily, before kissing him long and deeply.