“Mister Ninomiya? Ohno sensei can’t answer positively to your request unfortunately.”

Nino sighed desperately “Can you at least leave her a message?”

“Of course. Like I always did. Each time you called us.”

“Thanks.”

Nino hanged up out of irritation. This literary agent was a frigging watchdog. He called the publishing house of Ohno for the umpteenth time and not once did he have the chance to talk to the author. Was the woman even real?! It was so frustrating and damn…Nino was totally fucked up. Nothing seemed to work lately.

Last night had been such a disaster, Nino idiotically thought that he could get lucky with Ohno. His aunt always said ”lucky at card, unlucky in love. Seems that idiom was a crap too.

He cursed another time when a stack of book he didn’t notice fell on the floor noisily.

“Are you okay Nino?” Aiba called from the kitchen and Nino reassured him vaguely.

His head was a mess and if he had to be totally honest, it had nothing to do with Ohno or with the bookstore but everything to do with his last client.

What did he do to Sakurai?! Where were his good resolutions, his ethics? Probably somewhere in his pants…or in Sakurai’s.

That outing had a purpose, to show Sho that he could seduce, be desired and maybe spent a night of sex with a beautiful girl he barely knew. To
prove him that sex without commitment could be fun and liberating.

God. He screwed up everything.

The club had another advantage, they won’t be alone and Nino sincerely believed he could resist the temptation, to push Sakurai towards the first woman he could like.

Nothing went as he planned from the very beginning. He watched Sakurai entering the club, walking to the counter and ordering two beers –what a gentleman- and he saw his gaze changing the second their eyes met. Was it joy, kindness or real interest? The only thing Nino knew was that he spent the next hour talking about his life, about his job and such, which was far from the goal of the outing. It wasn’t a damn date, Nino repeated to himself again and again, yet he couldn’t help but enjoy that face-to-face. This man was perfect. A perfect perfection and the icing on the cake? He didn’t have a clue. The funniest thing was that Sakurai acted as if they were on date truly. He seemed to be interested in him not as coach but as human being and did he really imagine those tender looks, those flushed cheeks?

Sho had rolled his sleeves up and for the first time Nino noticed the knobby bones of his wrists that duck out and looked so…bitable. Forearms were Nino’s fetish and Sho’s were fan-fucking-tastic. That was probably the moment Nino knew he was smitten. Or fucked, depending.
Nino knew when someone hit on him, when someone was receptive to his charm but with Sakurai he was lost. How did they slide from a general conversation to this small game of seduction? Nino ignored it, or rather he knew too well he wanted to seduce him. See me, he wanted to scream, kiss me. He craved to taste Sakurai’s mouth since the day they met. Yet he never thought he had a chance. But Toma interrupted them and everything changed. Sakurai was jealous, it was written all over his face and Nino gave up resisting. He really thought that Sakurai would push him away. Sincerely. But he didn’t.

Nino smelled Sho’s chiseled jaw, his perfumed and so soft skin and the next thing he knew was that they were kissing as if there was no tomorrow without paying attention to the world around them.

During this kiss, his mind howled at him, to move away, to leave Sho alone but kissing him was like no other experience, a piece of heaven. Surprisingly Sho’s sulky moan had been his saving grace. Nino was hard as rock and for a second he contemplated the idea to grab Sho’s hand to put it to his crotch, to go to the next level by showing him how he felt. What an irony, only a few minutes before he told him that he had to be egotistic but Nino refused to be egotistic with Sho. It would be like taking advantage of a man who had never explored his sensuality. No way.

“What happened Nino? Just climb down this ladder please, you gonna hurt yourself.”

Nino looked down at Jun who was reaching out. He took his hand and let Jun leading him to a table where Aiba had already sat.

“Do tell us.” Aiba slid a cup of tea to Nino.

“I screwed up everything with Sakurai yesterday. I…I kissed him.”

Jun and Masaki exchanged an accomplice look and together murmured a “And?”

“And nothing. I managed to run away before things go too wild.”

“Did he reject you?” Masaki asked, concerned.

“No! No, it was a good kiss, it was beyond good, it was…thrilling. It was a fuck-me-tease-me kiss.”

“So why did you run away?!”

“Because he’s a client and he wants a wife not a boyfriend.”

“That, you don’t know.” Jun argued, grabbing Masaki’s hand to intertwine their fingers. “Did you apologize, mailed him, texted him?”

“No I…don’t yell at me, I left the club with Toma under Sakurai’s eyes. To make him understand, you know…” Nino said sheepishly, feeling pitiful like never before.

“Did you spend the night with Toma?” Jun groaned. Masaki and Jun disliked deeply Toma because he was –according the happy couple- too shallow and fickle for Nino.

“Of course not. After Sho…I didn’t want someone else.”

“Call him.” Masaki said enthusiastically.

“No. And I won’t. You guys will take over the job.”

Jun sighed desperately. “I don’t get you here. I know you’re fond of him, why don’t you give your story a chance?”

“Because there is no story, only in my head. I don’t want to fall for a het.”

“You already fell for him, right?” Masaki said emotionally.

“That’s why I ask you to take care of him. I can’t face him now.”

After a long silence Jun petted Nino’s head. “’Course we’ll do.”

Nino hated himself for choosing the easy way but honestly, he couldn’t deal with his crush now. Just a few days and he would get over it.




Nino was restless. Wandering in his own bookstore, talking to some clients, creating new signs for the new writing contest planned for the next month, cleaning the counter and the windows…but nothing could distract him enough to make him stop thinking about what was happening at this very moment.

Jun was with Sho in a coffee shop and together they will go to a new lit club, aka another housewives sex frat. Nino hated that thought. He was angry, jealous and so tired because he didn’t sleep the previous night.

Sho called him again and again but not once Nino did answered. He simply gave his number to Jun and as soon as the latter called Sho, the phone calls stopped. It hurt more than Nino could tell, as idiotic as it seemed. What did he expect? A song under his balcony, a declaration of his undying love? He wasn’t a kid anymore and that’s precisely why he wanted to avoid Sho.

All in all, he felt lucky to have cut shorted this silliness, if it hurt now it would have been far worse later once he was really involved. Yes, Nino felt lucky.

Gosh he hated his qualms.

Jun hadn’t be very talkative about what he planned to do with Sho and Masaki didn’t evocated the delicate subject either. They helped him a lot when Masataki broke Nino’s heart, since then they were very protective like elder brothers watching over a fragile little brother. But he wasn’t fragile, he was just insecure when it came to his love life. And Sho was definitely the type of man who will be able to break his heart in thousand pieces.
Where were they now? What are they talking about already …what was the subject of the day? Ah yeah, sodomy…argh!
Nino closed the shop very late that evening, he never really had things like opening and closing hours. He used to follow his mood and the schedule of his extra activities. It was almost ten when he closed the door on the last customer and Nino stopped short on the threshold.
On the other side of the street Sakurai was standing, hands in his pockets and he was staring at him. Nino didn’t think twice and stepped forward while Sho joined him under the sign of the shop.

“Why the Kettle pot and the cat?” Sho asked with a smile.

“I guess my aunt had a wild imagination…or not at all. This antique red kettle pot had always been here and there are always some cats in the bookstore. Why are you here Mister Sakurai?”

“I figured out I didn’t know the name of the cat.”

“Don’t know either. He never told me.” Nino murmured, looking at the fluffy white cat behind the window. Sho laughed and Nino couldn’t help but smile like a fool. He didn’t know why Sho was here but Nino was happy beyond words to see him when he didn’t expect him anymore.
Sho moved toward him surreptitiously and Nino stepped back until his back met the stone wall. He was stuck against it and Sho’s body and his lower belly started a dance of joy. He couldn’t lie to himself any longer, he was pining after Sho, badly. Yet the same problem remained.

“Did…did you meet Jun tonight?”

“I didn’t go, I spent my evening watching you from the other side of the street.” Nino chuckled awkwardly “Nothing creepy, don’t worry!” Sho corrected immediately.

Nino smirked nicely. “You spent the evening watching me but it’s not creepy?”

“I had to take a decision.” Sho closed the small gap between them putting a hesitant hand on Nino’s cheek.

Nino’s gaze fell on this pulpous mouth that he craved for so much “What decision?”

“Don’t give up on me yet, Nino.”

“I…” Sho didn’t let him finish, taking his lips fiercely while pinning him against the wall his two hands on Nino’s hips. Nino didn’t even think about pushing him away or to struggle, he simply knotted his arms around Sho’s neck and swallowed a moan of delight. The man was a serious kisser and quickly Nino lost ground, asking for more, grabbing the nape of Sho’s neck harder to deepen the kiss. He parted his legs and welcomed Sho between his thighs. But Sho stepped back.

“I didn’t…I came to give you something.”

Nino caught his breath, half confused, half disappointed, hundred percent aroused. He shrugged warily.

“Here.” Sho retrieved a folded paper in his back pocket and after lifting Nino’s hand to put it in his palm. “That’s all for tonight…I guess.”

“I guess.”

Sho gave him a boyish smile and after a last peck, left the place. Nino began to sober up after a few seconds opened his hand, unfolded the paper and smothered a cry.

“No. Way.” Nino murmured before running back to the bookstore.


Not a night passed without Sho waking with an aching hard-on, his brain full of dangerously sexy images of Nino. Nino on his lap, Nino on his knees, Nino at his knees…but each morning brought its share of disappointment.

Nino refused to answer his calls and Sho couldn’t possibly show himself at the bookstore. He had to respect Nino’s wish as painful as it seemed.

He couldn’t force him and embarrass himself by being publicly rejected. Well embarrassing himself wasn’t really a problem, his curiosity was far more embarrassing than his pride.

Sho admitted gladly than the kiss he shared with Nino has been a revelation. They were in public, in a nightclub and he was angry with this Toma guy, they talked about cucumber and bananas and sex and, it felt amazing. Then Nino was gone and God knows what they did all night long together. Well Sho could totally picture what the hell they did, probably what he had wished to do with Nino if he hadn’t run away so fast.

“Ken? Ken?” Sho pushed the button on his phone to call his secretary who finally answered after several fruitless tries.

“Excuse me I was with Mister Nagase, he needed me…” The messy hair and the wrinkled suit betrayed the cute secretary. This man was a precious secretary, attentive and cheerful but he was fanciful too. Sho was perfectly aware about the relationship he had with their boss, Nagase
Tomoya. It was an open secret that everybody in the office shared.

“Could you please call Mister Ninomiya?”

“Again?!” Ken rolled his eyes and Sho knitted his eyebrows with reprobation.

“Yes again.” He simply stated, going back to his file. A few minutes later, when Ken came back he had the I-have-some-bad-news-for-you face. Sho sighed out of desperation, he didn’t even want to hear it again. He doesn’t want to talk to you. Sho couldn’t understand why was that kiss so wonderful if they didn’t share the same feelings?

“…By the way, I have what you asked for Mister Sakurai, Mister Nagase found what you wanted.”

“You have the number?”

“And the address.” Ken said enthusiastically, visibly happy to cheer up his moody boss. He stepped forward and handed Sho a note with a phone number and an address.

“Tell Nagase I’ll be back in two hours.” Sho rushed out under the dumbfounded gaze of his secretary. Ken didn’t recognize him and to be totally honest, Sho didn’t recognize himself either.

When he came back to the office much later, two men were waiting for him.

“Mister Sakurai, we already met.” The taller said, reaching out to shake his hand. “We’re Aiba Masaki and Matsumoto Jun, Nino’s friends.”

“I know who you are. Come into my office please.” Sho stepped aside to make room for his guests, wondering why the two men took the pain to come all the way to his office.

Ken brought them a tray with a tea set and as soon as the door closed Jun opened the fire.

“Nino asked us to take care of you from now. He doesn’t want to coach you anymore.”

Ouch. Sho felt his heart clenching painfully. “I see.” Sho would lie if he asserted that he didn’t see it coming but it hurt nonetheless.

“Let me be blunt with you.” Jun kept on. “We don’t want to coach you. Nino pushes you away because he thinks you’re not interested in a relationship with a man. With him to be precise. Yet we’re thinking he’s wrong, are we?”

Sho chuckled, embarrassed by Matsumoto’s forthrightness. Were they all that honest in this bookstore?! Yet he couldn’t deny the flash of hope suddenly bursting, comforting him in his feelings.

“To be totally honest, I never thought I could have something with a man and I don’t know what I feel for Nino. But there is something, you’re right. Not seeing him is…damn painful.”

“It’s a good start.” Masaki smiled, patting his lover’s thigh.

“And if it’s only lust?” Sho spoke his concerns. He always chose girls according his plan of life but being with Nino was so far from it.

“What’s wrong with lust?” Masaki pouted adorably.

“Do you plan to lay him and let him down?” Jun asked, taking a sip of tea.

“Of course not!”

“So it’s not only lust. You can be good to each other. I don’t know if you’ll spend your life together, no one knows, but who cares? Each journey begins with a single step…and lust is a good beginning.”

“He refuses to see me.”

“And you’re an attorney, convince him.”

Sho smiled sincerely. He could do that. Definitely.



He wasn’t a stalker. That’s what Sho repeated to himself again and again while pacing on the sidewalk facing Nino’s bookstore. The place was packed tonight, people were coming and going, each time exiting the shop with a smile from ear to ear.

This man was a magician, he could enlighten the day of each and every person he met. Sho observed him for a long time fascinated by all those so endearing details he discovered as he watched him from afar. He always knew Nino was cute but seeing him interacting with his clients, Sho found him beautiful. The main question –and the reason why he couldn’t open the door of the shop and talk to Nino- was if he could have a relationship with a man? Answering Nino’s kiss was a thing, asking for more was totally different. Living the life of a gay man was definitely different.

Yet during those moments he spent all alone, freezing in the brisk wind of October he ended up thinking that he never wanted to be with someone like he wished to be with Nino. He wasn’t a daring man, except in Court but for once he wanted to fight for a relationship.

So it was settled right?

He waited the last client’s departure, without moving and it’s only when Nino spotted him that he crossed the street, the note he wanted to give him firmly folded into his hand.

Nino seemed to be surprised but somewhat...glad…or anxious…he didn’t really know. “Why the Kettle pot and the cat?” Brilliant Mister smart ass!

“I guess my aunt had a wild imagination…or not at all. This antique red kettle pot had always been here and there are always some cats in the bookstore. Why are you here Mister Sakurai?” Crap. From Sho to Mister Sakurai it wasn’t a good sign, right?

“I figured out I didn’t know the name of the cat.”

“Don’t know either. He never told me.” Sho couldn’t help but laugh and Nino’s luminous smile killed him. Oh God yes he cared for him, he wanted him more than he never wanted anyone. Sho’s gaze fell on Nino’s mouth, the sexy mole on his chin, aching to lick it.

“Did…did you meet Jun tonight?” Nino’s voice pulled him from his haze. True, he had to meet Matsumoto this evening but for an obvious reason he didn’t.

“I didn’t go, I spent my evening watching you from the other side of the street.” Nino laughed softly, clearly uneasy and Sho realized what it looked
like. “Nothing creepy, don’t worry!”

“You spent the evening watching me but it’s not creepy?”

It sounded creepy and crazy true but Sho could explain to him, to convey his feelings as strange as it seemed. He had to be daring for his own sake.

“I had to take a decision.” Go on coward! Sho moved forward, boldly touching Nino’s face.

“What decision?”

He had so many things to tell him but he had to be prudent in order not to fright Nino. “Don’t give up on me yet, Nino.”

“I…” Nino tried to say something but Sho won’t let him, his best argument was what they felt when they kissed, when they touched. He wanted to be subtle, he wanted it to be a soft kiss, a peck but Nino grabbed his neck and he forgot everything. Who parted his lips first, Sho ignored, perhaps they opened their mouths at the same time? Sho couldn’t trifle with Nino, he desired him and the way they kissed reflected their attraction. He gripped Nino’s hips, almost painfully and pinned him to the wall, licking, tasting, exploring Nino’s mouth in the most decadent kiss Sho ever exchanged.

Suddenly he remembered why he came.

“I didn’t…I came to give you something. Here.” Sho took Nino’s hand, giving him the phone number, the address and the date of the appointment he settled with Ohno Satoshi. “That’s all for tonight…I guess.”

“I guess.” Nino murmured and Sho took off.

No need to say Sho didn’t sleep that night. Nino was probably confused but he resisted, he didn’t call him or texted him. He had to leave him alone for a while.

He took the decision to try his luck with Nino, it didn’t mean that Nino was in the same state of mind. He was embarrassed too. He came to give him the date of the appointment he organized for him with Ohno Satoshi –his boss, Nagase had contacts everywhere- and not for stealing another kiss. At least that was the plan before his hormones began to lead the boat.

Sho went at work very early he couldn’t rest anyway so better to use his time on something useful.

He met clients all morning long, nothing really exciting, nothing capable of distracting his attention from what happened last night and when the lunch break came he didn’t feel like eating outside. He called Ken to order a meal…Ken who wasn’t answering like always.

Sho strode to the door, decided to look for his fickle secretary. He just didn’t expect to find him at his desk with Nino.

“Oh sorry boss, I was about to answer but Mister Ninomiya was here and he brought you a lunchbox.” Ken said with a witty smile.

Nino rose the yellow package in his hand before Sho’s face. “I thought we could have lunch together.”

Sho bit his lower lip to repress an idiotic smile –the very one he was getting to know since he met Nino- and stepped aside to let Nino in. He snorted at Ken’s wink and closed the door.

“I hope you don’t mind if I talked to Ken.” Nino began, smiling awkwardly.

“I don’t mind at all. Why should I?”

Nino was walking around, eyeing at the books on the shelves. Sho sat behind his desk.

“Nothing too exciting, only books linked to law.”

Nino turned around and beamed at Sho. “I can see.” He walked to him and Sho reached out without thinking twice.

“I’m glad you came.” He said as Nino leaned towards him to peck his lips as if it was the most natural thing on earth.

“You ran away so fast yesterday.” It wasn’t a reproach only a statement. “I didn’t even have time to tell you I want to resign. I honestly can’t keep on coaching you.”

“Ok…”

“And to be honest I’m really nervous. I have a very important date this afternoon I thought you could help me to relax.”

Nino straddled Sho’s lap and snaked his arms around Sho’s neck. Okay, there they were, thought Sho as a pleasant warmth settled in his lower belly. It wasn’t time to overthink, Sho just wanted to enjoy this unexpected but so awaited moment.

He took a look at his watch then linked his fingers behind Nino’s back. “You have two hours.”

“It’s a lot of time.” Nino grinned, leaning on Sho to take his lips, resuming their kiss to the exact moment they stopped the previous night. It was a hot, sensual, sexy kiss all tongues and lips struggling and melting. Soon Nino was grinding his stiffening cock against Sho’s stomach, groaning shamelessly while he began to devour the tender skin of his neck sending a flash of hotness directly to Sho’s crotch. They didn’t talk about sex, rather they talked a lot about sex, but not about their sex life. Thinking, dreaming, fantasizing didn’t mean Sho was ready to have sex with a man, right?

Then he felt Nino’s complete hard-on and forgot his apprehensions. Nino was right, feeling his partner’s desire fuelled his own desire, he began to move along with him naturally, to rub his sex against Nino’s. It was just…indescribable, beyond any sexual experience he ever experienced.

“Talk to me Sho. Words matter in sex.” Nino whispered in Sho’s ear.

“I’m not skilled in talking.” Nino chuckled “Not in a bedroom I mean. Well technically, we’re not in a bedroom but~”

“Hush…” Nino shifted to look at Sho, keeping on moving his hips slowly. “Relax, I’m not speaking about dirty talk. Tenders words are the most pleasurable, don’t you think?”

Sho squeezed Nino tighter, sliding his fingers under the hem of his shirt to stroke the small of his back and the waistband of his brief audaciously. “I thought about you a lot lately…I dreamed about you a lot lately. Your face, your hands, your smile, your kisses, your lessons, especially the lesson you gave to the lit club.”

Nino flushed and muttered a “You’re way too good with your mouth” while unbuckling Sho’s belt hastily.

“Wow…Ken is…”

“He’s keeping the door, don’t worry, I brought him a lunch and flowers in exchange.”

“You devil.” Sho giggled but helped Nino to unzip his fly. Nino slipped his hand into Sho’s warm brief and gasped, freezing for a second.

“Gosh you’re definitely a~”

“Cucumber?”

Nino chuckled amused by Sho’s reference. “You’re definitely a cucumber, thank God. Did you…Did you read the book?!”

“I did and it was very interesting, I definitely want to meet Ohno too.”

“Should I ask you where you buy the book?”

“Mister Aiba bought it for me at your bookstore.” Sho answered between two kisses. “Wha…what are you doing?” Sho murmured while Nino trickled his fingers around his shaft making him tremble beneath his touch.

“I won’t force you if you aren’t ready.” Nino paused, his hand close enough to make Sho feel the heat radiating from his palm without a real skin-to-skin contact. It wasn’t time for chickening so Sho pressed Nino’s fingers around his own erection, clumsily moving up and down and he shuddered at the delicious friction. “I guess you’re ready.” Nino whispered, his voice husky with desire.

Sho released Nino’s hand and when the latter gasped Sho took advantage of his parted lips to slide his hot tongue in his mouth again. Meanwhile he unzipped Nino’s fly, milking his gasps and soon Nino’s free hand joined his to undo his own briefs. Sho finally got what Nino said earlier about being selfish in sex matter. He loved Nino’s administrations, he wasn’t afraid to ask him for more and Nino’s arousing was an utter powerful aphrodisiac. Nino’s shaft was big, bigger than his slim body suggested, yet Sho firmly gripped it, was startled to be so excited. Precum was already dripping all along Nino’s length easing Sho’s movements. It wasn’t awkward to masturbate another man –to masturbate Nino at least- it was only strange to hold the sex of a man which wasn’t his but Sho admitted willingly that it was exhilarating. Perhaps too much. He won’t last long under Nino’s skillful fingers. Nino was thumbing the sensitive mushroom head of Sho’s cock to wet his fingers before putting back down to the soft black bush at the base of his length.

Without even noticing, Sho matched Nino’s movements, Nino’s pace, he dared to take a look at their two fists moving accordingly, finding this hella
exciting and somehow beautiful. He slid his free hand to Nino’s butt, yanking him to close the small gap between their two bodies and smothered his cry of pleasure against Nino’s neck while he shook violently with his orgasm. Nino followed soon, spurring his semen all over their shirts, which were already soiled by Sho’s warm sperm.

They recovered slowly, unmoving, only exchanging some sloppy kisses and idiotic sated chuckles.

“I loved it.” Sho said all against Nino’s lips.

“Midday sex is so indecent and satisfying.” Nino whispered, his breath shallow. Jealousy stung Sho’s pride but he scolded himself, he couldn’t ask to Nino to be virgin. He wasn’t virgin even if Nino was his first man. “Sorry I shouldn’t have say that.” Nino apologized immediately figuring out his clumsiness.

“No problem.” Sho pecked at his lover and moved back.

“Sorry, it’s gross.” Nino gazed at the sperm cooling off on their clothes as if he was the one to blame for their state. Sho’s heart melted, he cupped Nino’s face lovingly.

“It isn’t gross, Kazu.” Sho cooed, taking off Nino’s shirt before kissing his shoulder. “I have clean shirts here, I’ll give you one.”

“Thanks.” Nino put his chucks on the floor, he staggered a bit and gripped Sho’s forearm to right himself. “Sorry I feel dizzy.”

“Sit down in the couch, we’ll eat right now.” Nino obeyed and after taking a grab of the first onigiri he seemed to recover a bit. Sho fetched two new
shirts and without asking dressed Nino, buttoning it for him.

“I think I’ve got to go now.” Nino muttered after eating another mouthful.

“You okay?”

“Sure, I just don’t wanna be late. This is an important appointment for the shop.”

“I know, sure, go.”

Sho called a taxi for him and showed him the way out, not totally sure about what happened. He was dying to kiss his lover on the sidewalk but of course it was impossible. Anyway, Nino almost ran to the car, waving at him once inside. When he went back to his office Ken was waiting for him with a mug of coffee. He beamed at Sho.

“Mister Sakurai, I think I’m in love with your boyfriend.” The young man said with a smile, handing him the coffee.

“My boyfriend? No, he’s not, I mean we didn’t talk about something so…it’s not that settled.” Sho frowned as the realization hit him. All in all, Nino never said a word about being his boyfriend or about an official relationship. And what if he was only looking for another friend with benefits?